Monday, May 18, 2009

TAKE CONTROL

Years ago, in the middle of my comedy career, I was in New York City, driving a rental car that kept breaking down. It was ninety-eight degrees, the air conditioning didn't work, and sweat was pouring from my body. To make matters worse, I was in the world's biggest traffic jam and I was already forty-five minutes late for a very important audition.

I started to feel this snowball of negative emotions building up. I said to myself out loud, "What else could possibly go wrong?" I soon realized that was the wrong question to ask. Whenever you ask a question like that the universe has its own way of answering you.

I drove up to the tollbooth with beads of sweat running down my face. I tried really hard to control my emotions. I reached into my pocket to pay the toll - and realized that I had left my money at home. I sat there in total amazement at the series of events that were keeping me from my destination.

I started to take it personally. I actually believed that life was out to get me that day - and it was succeeding. For a moment I was in a daze. I was unaware of the cars beeping and people cursing at me. The guy in the tollbooth finally asked, "Can I help you?" I don't know what possessed me to say this, but my reply was, "Yeah, I'll have a couple of burgers, two fries, a coke, and get something for yourself there Sparky!" Apparently he was new to this country and he didn't understand my brand of humor. "I'm sorry" he said in an foreign accent, "but we don't have food here!" "Well," I replied nervously, "then you better get some because you're holding up traffic!" As I said this I noticed he was starting to laugh. And much to my surprise, so was I. The long line of drivers behind me, however, did not join in the laughter. There were horns honking and people cursing, "Come on, we gotta get moving!" "What the hell is the problem up there?" Then my new found friend stuck his head out from the tollbooth, motioned to the line of cars, and said, "Sorry we ran out of food. Try the next booth!"
By then we were hysterical over the absurdity of the situation. We were high-fiving each other and the coolest thing is that he let me go without paying. He said, "Thank you my friend. I am new to this country and this is my second day on the job. I really needed to laugh today!" I looked at him and said, "Believe me, so did I!" We shook hands, wished each other a great day, and I drove away from that tollbooth in a totally different mood.

As a result, I was able to plant positive thoughts in my head and think of constructive ways to deal with the important audition I had coming up. Guess what? I had a great audition! It's a good thing I did, because it led to the most important break in my career. That's how I got my Show Time television special, which paved the way to many other opportunities.

Think about this. What would have happened if I had gone to the audition in the mood that I was in before the tollbooth incident? I wouldn't have had a chance. Not in the mood I was in. In fact, I almost turned the car around to go home. Believe me, I tried everything to control the situation. After all, I read all of the books on positive thinking and positive affirmations. I thought I was an expert. I found out that day that positive thinking and reciting positive affirmations doesn't always work; because there are times when you are in such an overwhelming negative emotional state that your brain isn't going to buy the fact that everything is okay.

I mean, there I was, sitting behind the wheel of a stalling car without air conditioning, sweating in ninety-eight degrees, stuck in the world's biggest traffic jam, and late for my audition - reciting affirmations out loud over and over. "Everything is going as planned. I am in control of this situation. I am the radiating center of love and peace." Just then someone beeped their horn and I motioned to him with my fist and shouted, "Pick a number pal!" Not only was I frustrated and angry, because of my ordeal; I also felt totally inadequate, because I couldn't think positively and get control of my emotions.

When I started to laugh, however, I was able to think positively and visualize how I wanted my audition to go. Do you know why? When you start laughing at a stressful or highly emotional situation your brain is no longer concentrating on that negative thought. In fact, your brain is now somewhere else laughing at something ridiculous that you just did. Even if your brain goes back to the negative thought, it won't be as overpowering as it was before, because you have stopped the snowball effect. You have calmed down your nervous system to the point where you can think positively and take control.

That's the first time in my life I realized how important it was to be in control of my emotions and how laughter helped me take control.

You never know when opportunity is going to knock, and when it does, you have to be prepared. I can't tell you how many opportunities I've blown in my life, because I couldn't control my emotions. I can't tell you how many bridges I burned, because I made decisions when I was in an unhealthy state of mind.

It doesn't matter what you call it. You can call it karma, payback, or the laws of cause and effect. It doesn't matter. The fact is, the choices you make will determine the actions you take. The actions you take will determine who you are and where you go. This holds true on any level of your life, in all your personal and professional relationships.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

EMOTIONAL SELF-DEFENSE

One Saturday night, years ago, I was performing at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles. I was backstage conversing with a fellow comedian named Steve. We were discussing what a trip it was to make people laugh and better yet, get paid for it. We agreed that the power of laughter has many medicinal purposes. I suggested that since we were responsible for making people laugh, that would make us "Humor Healing Technicians".

The conversation took on a more serious tone when Steve told me he was HIV positive. I asked how he was dealing with it. He said, "Watch me. I'm going on before you, Watch my set." I went to the back of the room and stood by some other comedians. The room was sold-out - standing room only. Steve was introduced. What transpired within the next twenty minutes totally blew my mind. His entire routine was on the HIV virus. His opening line was: "Hi, I'm Steve and I'm HIV positive. Don't be concerned, Naomi Judd was diagnosed with chronic Hepatitis C. The good news is that we are going to form a duo and call ourselves Sick and Tired."

Steve had an incredible ability to use humor as a tool. His HUMOR BEING glowed that night. His comic timing was exceptional; equaled only by the powerful message that was interwoven in and around the laughter. He even found humor in the many side effects that occurred from all the different medications he was taking. There were over five hundred people in that room and Steve had them all in the palm of his hand. He make them realize how healing laughter can be and how precious life truly is. I remember saying to another comedian, "This guy is making people laugh about one of the biggest challenges to face this planet."

Later that evening our conversation continued. I told Steve that what he did on stage took courage and was absolutely incredible. He smiled and said, "Thank you but, the really good news is that my white blood count went up phenomenally, ever since I chose to deal with this challenge with humor." I stood there with my mouth opened, searching for the proper words. Finally I said, "That's incredible."

Later in his career, Steve starred in his own HBO Special entitled, "HIV." He now has a following. There are people who are HIV positive who claim that Steve's humor and message helps them to embrace their challenges. One very important point must be made. Steve was not laughing at his challenge. We know there is nothing funny about the HIV virus. What he was doing, however, was allowing his HUMOR BEING to laugh off the fear that represented the challenge. Laughing in the face of fear eventually helped him confront it. When he confronted his fear he gradually began to understand where it was coming from and why it was controlling his life. Understanding always leads to compassion and compassion leads to the ultimate, unconditional love.

The most incredible accomplishment my friend Steve is making is that he is letting people know they have the power within themselves to view their own personal challenges from the same perspective. He reminds us that we all have a HUMOR BEING within us, but it's up to us whether we choose to use it or not.

Steve Rizzo's Point of Interest
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Monday, April 20, 2009

WAY BEYOND COMEDY

Quite often people come up to me and say, Steve (because that's my name), what's one of the main characteristics that separates a comedian from everyone else? I simply respond, that it's the way a comedian looks at life. A comedian views life and all of its obstacles, absurdities, tragedies, mistakes, incomprehensibility's, and embarrassing moments from a humorous perspective. When comedians look at life this way, they're not negating the seriousness of the subject matter, they're just looking at life from a different perspective - it's a healthier perspective - it's the humor perspective.

Let me share with you how I discovered the power of my Humor Being, which was one of the key factors that motivated me to leave stand-up comedy and move on to the speaking forum.

Following a comedy performance I would feel this surge of positive energy flow through my body. This energy surge gave me the confidence that I could achieve and accomplish anything I set my mind to do. Sometimes I would go back to my hotel room and write in my journal or write new material. It seemed that my creative juices flowed from me, into the pen, and onto the paper. Other times I would go out with a group of people, have wonderful conversations, laugh and have fun. The point is, whatever I did I was totally void of all negative thoughts. My problems - whatever they were at the time - somehow seemed manageable. I was living in the moment and enjoying every minute of it.

Initially I thought the reason for these power surges was because I was feeding my ego. You know, standing ovations, signing autographs, and people wanting to be around me. Although all of these things made me feel good, I knew there had to be more to it than that. Then one night after a comedy performance it hit me. It was at a time in my life when I was at an all-time low. I was either in or very close to a state of depression. All of the old fears and limiting beliefs that I thought I had conquered were back, haunting me again. It took everything I had to muster up enough energy and courage to step onto the stage that night. I remember thinking how ironic life is. There I was, ready to make a sold-out crowd of over five hundred people laugh, when what I really wanted to do was tell them how much life sucked. Much to my surprise, I was able to do both.

In spite of my problems - in fact it was because of my problems - I had one of the most spectacular performances of my career. I was on stage for more than two hours and the crowd wanted more. When I finally stepped off the stage the euphoria hit me with more intensity than ever before. I remember saying to myself, "This is way beyond comedy." I actually felt invincible. I felt a presence in me that radiated confidence and hope. I was in a complete state of love - and it was because I had allowed my Humor Being to take me there.

It was then that I discovered the real reason I got the power surge of positive energy. When I'm up on stage, I am in a totally different state of mind. I'm in a place where my problems and the world's problems are viewed in a different light.

That night I did more than my usual act. I let my Humor Being loose and allowed my higher self to take control. I talked about my world and how it was falling apart. I even talked about some painful experiences from my past. I literally laughed off my frustrations, pain, negative labels, and inner most fears. I vented my anger in a constructive way and the crowd loved it. It was like therapy, with a two major differences, I had fun and I didn't have to pay for it.

A few days after my performance, I began to reflect on what had transpired on stage that night. Without my knowledge the owner of the club had recorded my entire performance. When I viewed the tape, I was amazed at what I heard. It felt strange to listen to myself ramble on about my personal history in such a way. I was never afraid to speak my mind, but if I didn't know any better I would have thought I was possessed or that someone had injected me with some kind of serum that made me reveal parts of myself that were never touched before. I now know it was really my Humor Being exposing my fears for what they were. Through laughter I was able to understand that my negative labels and the fears that belonged to them didn't have to formulate my reality if I didn't want them to.

I also came to understand that the reason the people in the audience enjoyed themselves so much was because they were laughing at extensions of themselves. My stories and the humor behind them helped these people view their own personal problems from a healthier perspective. In other words, our Humor Beings were connected. We were feeding off of each other.

That's what humor does. It makes us realize that we are all the same in God's eyes. We have the same fears, pains, and heartaches. We just have different stories to tell. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or how much money you make. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, male or female, rich or poor, conservative or liberal, or homosexual or heterosexual. We all make mistakes. We all have our successes and failures. We all have good times and bad times. Humor just has a way of ironing out the wrinkles. Humor helps us embrace who we really are and gives us enough peace to live with it.

The next time you're being entertained by a comedian, listen to the underlying statement that is so often hidden within the laughter. Many comedians are venting their phobias and innermost fears. Some talk about the pain and hassles of divorce and their inability to stay in relationships. Many discuss their addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, and sex. Others find levity in their physical or mental handicaps. Some even describe the abuse they had to endure while growing up. As I said at the beginning of this story, they are not negating the seriousness of the subject matter. They are choosing to view their pain from a healthier perspective.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Change: What You Think Is What You Get!

Let me make this perfectly clear my friends, change is inevitable in the workplace today!!! Right now we are all experiencing very challenging times in regards to an uncertain and shaky economy. The result; companies are going out of business, people are getting laid off, and many are being forced to change their lifestyles. Regardless of the changes that take place in your life, you must know without a doubt that it's not the change in and of itself that determines your fate, but rather it's the thoughts you have about the change that really makes the difference. So, stop whining about it and think about what you're thinking! In fact, your thoughts are the key factor as to whether you embrace the change and move forward with optimism or allow the changes to propel you in to a state of hopelessness.

I often speak to groups on how to embrace change in the workplace. Many times, within each audience the members pretty much have the same educational background, the same job description, and the same or similar responsibilities. Everyone is experiencing the changes that are taking place and yet I know for a fact even after they've heard my program that some, will move forward with enthusiasm and positive energy. They will also achieve great success and enjoy themselves during the process. Others will merely go through the motions because they have to, they will complain along the way and have great difficulty making their lives work. And some will become emotionally mentally paralyzed and unable to escape the grasp of fear.

Why is this so? Why is it that some will move forward and even become empowered as a result of the change; while others will have great difficulty to the point of feeling victimized? I'll tell you why. It's because of what each individual is thinking and saying to themselves.

Some will instantly and continually ask themselves empowering questions and declare empowering statements that will lead to brighter alternatives, such as:

What makes this situation positive?
What are my assets?
This change will force me to learn and that can only make me stronger.
I will make the best of it and enjoy myself along the way.
This is an opportunity for me to grow.


Others will fall prey to the repetitious voice in their heads that never shuts up; that voice is the flow of compulsive fear, based thoughts that usually come from past experiences that never worked out. Here we go again:

Why is this happening to me?
Why can't I ever get a break?
I will never be able to handle this.
What's the use, no one cares anyway.


When your thoughts are expressed in words, you increase their energy and intensify the effect they have in your life.

The act of positive self talk will not only strengthen your character, but also boost your spirit. It is beneficial for you to ask yourself what good can come out of even the most challenging situation no matter how bleak it may seem. Our current economic situation can be viewed as an opportunity to grow if we so choose. It will be difficult, if not impossible for you to seek opportunity if you are consumed with thoughts of fear, anger, and self doubt.

Asking yourself empowering questions and declaring empowering statements help you to rebuild on a foundation of hope. Remember, it's not the change that takes place in your life that causes you to be consumed by fear. Rather, it's how you perceive the change that makes the difference. If what you think is what you get, then you need to create a thinking system that will lead you to take action that will be advantageous in spite of the situation.

Your perception of yourself and this changing world around you are key factors to your success and happiness. If you think you are weak, inadequate or feel victimized then the energy you send out will mirror those thoughts. It will be difficult to succeed and be happy when harboring such thoughts.

If you believe you are powerful and view life as a never-ending learning experience filled with choices - you - will formulate within yourself a sense of hope. Then the energy you send out will mirror those thoughts, enabling you to lead a more fulfilling life.

HIGH POINTS TO REMEMBER

* Regardless of the changes that take place in your life you must
know without a doubt that it's not the change in and of itself that
determines your fate, but rather it's the thoughts you have
about the change that really makes the difference.

* If What You Think Is What You Get, then you need to create a thinking system that will lead you to take action that
will be advantageous in spite of the situation.

* The act of positive self talk will not only strengthen your
character, but also your boost your spirit!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

LAUGHTER & EXTREME ADVERSITY

Years ago, I attended the wake and funeral services of a friend who was killed in a car crash. He was loved by everyone who had the pleasure of knowing him. I have been to many wakes, viewings, funeral services and memorials throughout the course of my life, but there was something special about this one in particular. An awareness came over me that caused me to view the losses in my life from a different perspective.
When the funeral service was over, a group of us met at a relatives house. As you can imagine, people were wiping away tears and consoling one another. Some were understandably having difficulty accepting the unfair twist of fate that life had thrust upon him. We all were.
From across the room, I overheard an acquaintance telling part of a story that I was familiar with about our friend when he was in high school. I noticed that a few people were laughing along with it. Then someone else joined in on the conversation and offered an anecdote about the dearly departed's affinity for football. Before long, everyone in the room was laughing and reminiscing about the good times they had. In the midst of all the laughter, I had a strange, uplifting feeling come to me. This feeling can best be described as a smile from within. I realized I was no longer grieving over my friend.
My energy immediately shifted and I was temporarily delivered from my pain. At that moment, I think we all felt a special connection to him. In fact, his wife said, "You know I miss him and always will, but right now, I feel like a part of him is with us and always will be." Then she paused and said, "It's as if he's saying to all of us, It's okay. I'm okay. Everything is as it should be and I will always be with you."
Of course, we all started crying again, but this time, they were tears of hope. At that given moment his death was not the point of focus. The only thing that mattered was the powerful feeling we were all experiencing. We were celebrating and embracing the spirit of our love for him. It was our ability to laugh and reminisce about the good times that ignited that powerful sense of his spirit. In such a short time, our Humor Beings took us from a place of pain and uncertainty to a place of inner peace and hope. Laughter made us realize that, throughout our life journey there are no goodbyes, only good memories. The spirit moves on, and we all move on, in turn, in life. We all felt the smile from within that day. I believe laughter derives from the spirit. It has a magical way of breaking down barriers that make us feel like we are alone and reminds us that somehow we are all connected. We all have fear and pain to deal with. It's part of life, period. Laughter has a way, though of smoothing out the wrinkles and gives us enough hope and peace to move on.
Suffering may not be unavoidable, but just plain suffering can be avoided. Finding the laughter in between the tough times is essential to living a happier life. It's your Humor Being, urging you and reminding you that life still goes on, regardless of whether you like the way it goes or not. There will be good times and bad times, but in the end, all you'll really leave behind are memories. So you might as well attempt to enjoy them all!!!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

UNLEASH THE POWER OF YOUR "HUMOR BEING"

We're living in a world that's moving incredibly fast. On top of our personal problems and everyday pressures, we read the newspapers and watch the evening newscasts to learn that corporations are being forced to downsize and massive technological advancements in the workplace are causing people to drastically change their lives. Cell phones, Blackberry's, e-mails, text messages, and even micro-communication applications like Twitter are clogging our minds with an overwhelming amount of information, leaving us with little or no time to relax, unwind, and focus our attention on the big picture.
To compound this, political unrest, crime, disease, prejudice, and violence are running rampant, as they have done for decades on end. The divorce rate is at an all time high and war seems to be the only answer to remedy differences between nations. It's really no wonder why so many of us have to be medicated in some way or another in order to cope with the madness we have created!
We all need something to reduce the tension, the fast pace that we are subjected to everyday. I honestly believe that our ability to occasionally laugh off the major and minor tensions in our lives is crucial in order for us to survive the insanity. I'm not suggesting, I'm telling you that we have to take time out each day and laugh. Why do you think that people go to the comedy clubs? Because they want to laugh. Why do they want laugh? The same reason they have sex, it simply makes them feel good. A physiological and mental reaction takes place when you laugh. Laughter charges your inner battery and helps you to cope with the tough times. Even if you are having a really bad day, when you laugh life doesn't seem that bad after all.
This is why I urge you to unleash the power of your Humor Being on a daily basis. Right now you're probably wondering, "Great Steve, but what is a "Humor Being?" That, I can explain. Let me start off by saying that I believe that everyone on this planet is born with a Humor Being within them. Unfortunately some people live their entire lives without ever knowing they have the power to change their attitude by laughing, let alone how to tap into it and make it work for them.
Your Humor Being is one facet of your higher self. It's the part of you that brings out the best when times get tough. What your Humor Being can give you more than anything else is emotional stability and peace of mind.
I want you to take a few moments right now and think of the challenges you are faced with every day, personally and professionally. Now I want you to focus on a particular problem you may have at home or at work: health issues, financial problems, divorce, job security, or anything that is a current cause for concern. Pay particular attention to the emotions you are feeling as a result, such as worry, anxiety, anger or fear and notice how difficult it is not to take your problems from home to work and vice-a-versa. Not only is it important to know you have a Humor Being within you, it is essential that you use it everyday throughout your entire life. Your Humor Being will save you from despair time and time again, and before you know it, you won't need saving quite as often. Invoking your Humor Being as a habit will turn you into a better person with a brighter outlook. We go through our lives and we allow unfortunate situations, unlucky circumstances, and foul people to suck the energy right out of us, because we don't know that we have the tools that can help us cope well or even heal ourselves after bad encounters. One such tool in your Humor Being. Those who live in harmony with their Humor Being always see the brighter alternative to a negative situation. They embrace change more easily and make conscious choices to enjoy themselves during the process. Your natural state is that of joy and inner peace. It's your responsibility to stay connected to that state each and every day throughout your entire life. It's your Humor Being's job to help you stay connected.