Lessons Learned

If you've been following my blog, you know that my dad passed away a few weeks ago. Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have come to this conclusion. The greatest gift our parent’s give us are lessens we choose to learn along the way. Guess what? It is your responsibility to discover what your parents taught you.

I believe we are not only the physical creation of our parents; we are also here on a spiritual journey to learn from them. You were born to these people and weather you know or not their lives had an irrevocable effect on who you are, what you do and how you live your life.

The only way you can truly learn from your parents is to become aware and embrace both their positive qualities and negative traits. For example, a few of my father's greatest qualities were his integrity, sense of humor and the unconditional love he gave to his family and friends. Through the years I have both consciously or unconsciously learned these qualities and in turn incorporated them into my life. I believe I am a better person as a result.

More importantly, I believe it is crucial that you learn from your parents negative traits. The only way you can do this is to identify what about their lives you didn't like or perhaps even despised. Then ask yourself what about their lives could have been done differently or better. What you would have changed is part of what you need to learn.

I would have to say that my dad's biggest negative trait was his lack of self-worth. I don't believe he ever knew how talented and gifted he was. I also believe this was the cause of so much anger that derived from deep-rooted, fear based, past experiences. Learning from this particular negative trait from my dad has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

Our path is about discovering the truth of who we really are. Our parent’s positive qualities and negative traits can be an invaluable source of information to help us grow. If we don't learn the lessons our parents are always trying to teach us, we run the great risk of carrying their pain into our lives.

Humor Being To The Rescue

A few years ago, I was speaking in the Midwest. I needed to stock up on writing accessories, so I drove to a nearby K-Mart. As I proceeded to purchase my goods, I noticed there was only one register open, so I took my place at the end of a long line. While waiting, I heard the people in the line mumbling something about the attitude of the young woman working the register. As I proceeded closer to the register, I understood what everyone was talking about. This woman did have a major attitude problem. What amazed me the most was how everyone was making it their problem. The guy in back of me apparently found the need to add more fuel to the fire by venting loud enough for everyone to hear, “Who does she think she is? I’m going to go over there and give her a piece of my mind!” I’m thinking, “Oh this is great. Somebody with no mind at all is going to give somebody else a piece of it.” At that point, I noticed that everyone was feeding off of everyone else’s negativity.

Now I guess my sense of humor was at an all time high that day. Because right in the middle of this negative frenzy, I took off my shoe, put it by my ear, and said (in a voice like Maxwell Smart from the old television series, “Get Smart”) “Hello Chief. (Everyone in line just stared at me) Yes, this is Max. Well, I’m at K-Mart and apparently the woman behind the register is a spy. How can I tell? She has a bug up her butt!” There wasn’t a person in that line that wasn’t filled with tears of laughter. In fact, the guy behind me said, “Hey, can I use your shoe? I have to call my wife!”

What an amazing turn of events. One moment everyone was wallowing in negativity. The next they were all laughing. The woman behind the counter, she didn’t get it at all. In fact, she was more upset then she was before. She looked at me and said, “That is so stupid! A grown man talking to his shoe. There’s no phone in there!”

I learned a very important lesson that day. Some people take their jobs and their lives too seriously. The refuse to acknowledge they have a sense of humor.

That's What Humor Does

Last week I was on my way to Kona, Hawaii to give a keynote speech to over one thousand people. I called home during my connection in Los Angeles and my wife told me my father passed away. I made a decision to continue on to Kona. My plan was to give my speech the next day and then fly back home in time for the wake and funeral services. The following morning I was at the hotel restaurant having breakfast. My thoughts were on my father and all the wonderful memories we shared. I felt a wave of emotions building up. The one thing I didn't want to do, was to loose it at a restaurant. But it was too late, my emotions got the best of me and the tears began to fall. Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was my waitress. "Mr. Rizzo, she said, is everything alright?" Without missing a beat, I turned around in my seat, looked her straight in the face and said, "No it's not. This is the worst omelet I’ve ever had!" There was a slight pause and somehow she sensed the need for a quick comeback. "Well," she said, "I've had people complain about the food, but I’ve never seen anyone cry over it!" We both started laughing. The laughter instantly relieved the tension and I was able to explain the situation about my dad. Two hours later I was ready and focused to give a speech to a group of wonderful people. That's why I say humor is the instant-mind-shift. It gives you the emotional fortitude you need to move on with your life, even if you're hurting.

Like many other families, my family has had its share of difficult times, sadness and heartache. But somehow we always managed to pull through. I asked myself how we were able to survive so many of life's calamities. The answer was obvious----LOVE! It was always the spirit of Love that pulled us through. But it was our sense of humor and the power of laughter that kept us from falling apart.

I believe one of the greatest qualities of humor, is that it makes us all realize we are all the same in the universal scheme of things. We all have fears, concerns, pain, heartaches and problems to deal with. We just have our own unique stories to tell. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or how much money you make. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, male or female, rich or poor, conservative or liberal, gay or straight. We all make mistakes. We all have our successes and failures. And we all have good times and hard times. Humor simply helps us embrace who we really are and gives us enough peace to live with it.
That's What Humor Does.