Thoughts are one thing. Sometimes, you can even convince yourself that you're not being very negative, especially when the situation really calls for some good old fashioned angst. Words are an entirely different and often times more powerful animal. We need to be especially careful about the words we speak out loud when things aren't going the way we want. Yes, it's true that what you think is what you get, but what you say out loud in the midst of troubling times has even greater impact on how long you stay in those situations and how deeply you are affected by the situation. If you're always describing your problems with defeatist language, don't be surprised if you live in constant turmoil and you feel like you are constantly saying, "I never get a break", "I'm not lucky", and "Good things never happen to me". What do you expect? These words are not only self defeating in the moment, but they keep you from seeing possibilities to a brighter outcome or finding solutions to problems.
The inevitability that your words will affect your attitude and thus your situation, is spiritual law that always works to perfection, whether what you are saying is positive or negative. The moment you open up your mouth to say something, you ignite the beginning stages that lead to enormous creative power. You can create your own reality with your words, ultimately building high walls that keep you trapped in or bridges that can help you escape your situation gracefully. Again, the choice is yours, but do understand this: You will never be able to see the escape from a hole of negativity by voicing more of the same. Either wallow in it or give yourself a fighting chance to get out.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
What It Means To Be Positive
Anyone can tell you that one key to living a happy, successful life is having a positive attitude, especially during adverse times. I know that sometimes there just isn't justification for all the unfortunate things that happen to us. But I also know that we all have what it takes to deal with misfortune when it occurs. This is what acquiring a positive attitude is all about. It's about fortifying yourself for a fight with a very real enemy: Your own negativity.
I know this is much easier-said-than-done. I know that sometimes it seems impossible to stand tall and be positive when it feels like your world is falling apart around you. Yet this is something that can be achieved, and it's an attitude that's worth acquiring and keeping sharp. Who knows? Your life may depend on it some day.
The word "positive" seems to frustrate a lot of people. I hear people say, "How do you expect me to be positive when nothing in my life is working?" Or, "It's easy for you to be positive and feel blessed. You didn't lose someone you love."
Maybe we should consider a more realistic interpretation of what it means to be positive. Being positive isn't always a Disney movie. I have learned that being positive isn't always about feeling good. Oddly, it's healthy to feel bad sometimes. That's a good thing. That means you're not a robot. Are you with me? And being positive doesn't mean we never make mistakes. True positivism is knowing that we learn from making these mistakes and move forward with an optimism that we are better people for having made them, richer, deeper, and more resilient than before. Being positive doesn't mean that we should always smile and enjoy every moment of our lives. Give me a break! It's knowing that sometimes it's okay to cry, mourn, and feel sad. You don't always have to be in control of your emotions. Sometimes it's okay to get angry and lose your temper. Don't worry, your positivity license won't be revoked.
People who are generally positive have problems just like everyone else. What separates the chronically positive from everyone else is that they know that their problems are simply part of the process of life. After, and sometimes during, a crisis positive people respond to a habitual mechanism that enables them to pay attention to parts of their lives that don't make them want to spontaneously burst into tears in the middles of the produce aisle. They find a way to shift their perspective and hold on to only the things that bring them joy. This is the quality that keeps them from feeling victimized. Pain is unavoidable, but to a person with a positive attitude, that's all it is: Pain, simple, temporary and uncompounded by doubt and comparisons to past experience.
Positive people instinctively know that adversity is necessary in order for them to grow. We are here on Earth to experience, learn, grow, and become the person we are meant to become. It can't be stressed enough that the filter through which you view experience ultimately determines who you become. How we choose to experience what happens to us, be it good or bad, will determine what we learn. What we learn determines how we grow, and this continued growth is what shapes who and what we become. If we can comprehend this, it will help free us from feeling victimized when times are tough, and just maybe help you to compare a challenging situation with a pop quiz in Life: 101, rather than , say, the apocalypse.
I know this is much easier-said-than-done. I know that sometimes it seems impossible to stand tall and be positive when it feels like your world is falling apart around you. Yet this is something that can be achieved, and it's an attitude that's worth acquiring and keeping sharp. Who knows? Your life may depend on it some day.
The word "positive" seems to frustrate a lot of people. I hear people say, "How do you expect me to be positive when nothing in my life is working?" Or, "It's easy for you to be positive and feel blessed. You didn't lose someone you love."
Maybe we should consider a more realistic interpretation of what it means to be positive. Being positive isn't always a Disney movie. I have learned that being positive isn't always about feeling good. Oddly, it's healthy to feel bad sometimes. That's a good thing. That means you're not a robot. Are you with me? And being positive doesn't mean we never make mistakes. True positivism is knowing that we learn from making these mistakes and move forward with an optimism that we are better people for having made them, richer, deeper, and more resilient than before. Being positive doesn't mean that we should always smile and enjoy every moment of our lives. Give me a break! It's knowing that sometimes it's okay to cry, mourn, and feel sad. You don't always have to be in control of your emotions. Sometimes it's okay to get angry and lose your temper. Don't worry, your positivity license won't be revoked.
People who are generally positive have problems just like everyone else. What separates the chronically positive from everyone else is that they know that their problems are simply part of the process of life. After, and sometimes during, a crisis positive people respond to a habitual mechanism that enables them to pay attention to parts of their lives that don't make them want to spontaneously burst into tears in the middles of the produce aisle. They find a way to shift their perspective and hold on to only the things that bring them joy. This is the quality that keeps them from feeling victimized. Pain is unavoidable, but to a person with a positive attitude, that's all it is: Pain, simple, temporary and uncompounded by doubt and comparisons to past experience.
Positive people instinctively know that adversity is necessary in order for them to grow. We are here on Earth to experience, learn, grow, and become the person we are meant to become. It can't be stressed enough that the filter through which you view experience ultimately determines who you become. How we choose to experience what happens to us, be it good or bad, will determine what we learn. What we learn determines how we grow, and this continued growth is what shapes who and what we become. If we can comprehend this, it will help free us from feeling victimized when times are tough, and just maybe help you to compare a challenging situation with a pop quiz in Life: 101, rather than , say, the apocalypse.
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